I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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