just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Tornado booty call.. dedication
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Randomize
