everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
