Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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