idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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