Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
