Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
