I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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