ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize