good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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