Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
