I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
He told me they were just razor bumps!
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
The power of my boobs compel you
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
