Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
