Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
