We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
