i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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