In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Found the puke drawer
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Randomize
