Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
