I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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