looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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