My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize
