Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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