: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
