Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Randomize
