Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
