So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Randomize
