Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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