i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
