I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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