we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
