Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I can't turn off my feet"
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I wear drunk well.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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