Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
