Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
