She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
