i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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