rhymes with "ouble enetration"
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
