I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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