Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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