Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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