we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize