i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
