Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
