your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
