Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
farters have to be the big spoon...
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
