I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
