I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
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