oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize