we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
