so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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