But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
no you cant smoke seaweed
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize
