just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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