i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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