saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
