Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize