If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
