kristin has been a bad kristin
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
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