I don't usually arrange sex via text message
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
